January 2012
3 posts
1 tag
1 tag
2 tags
November 2011
3 posts
1 tag
4 tags
808s Love/Hate & Heartbreak, My Debut Double Album
“You try to figure out how you were so careless as to let someone else’s existence permeate your own. You’re kind of indignant because fuck, you didn’t ask for this; you weren’t even looking for this, not even peripherally. You swore to yourself long time ago that you’d be responsible and play it safe, that...
2 tags
October 2011
2 posts
1 tag
1 tag
“I stood still, vision blurring, and in that moment,
I heard my heart break. It...”
– Diana Gabaldon
August 2011
1 post
2 tags
June 2011
1 post
2 tags
“Sometimes, I like to read the bible in public and yell out,
“Oh Bullshit!”
– Zach Galifianakis (via notmovingtoportland)
May 2011
6 posts
1 tag
2 tags
1 tag
1 tag
“She’s rubbish at science but she’s always liked the idea that things...”
– Anonymous
2 tags
1 tag
March 2011
1 post
1 tag
“I’m just glad we have a president
who, when we have a problem in Libya,...”
– Paul Begala
February 2011
3 posts
1 tag
1 tag
I Don't Care What Hollywood Said, ILU Ricky...
So after all the hubbub about Ricky Gervais being a meanie at the Golden Globes, I youtubed his blastfest opening monologue and OH MY GOD, ONE OF THE BEST THINGS I HAVE EVER BEHELD. So now, you can imagine my excitement when I read that he wrote some banter for Oscar hosts JFranco and Anne Hathaway. Sadly, twas just a joke. Blergh. I was sincerely fucking excited for awesomeness like this:
...
2 tags
January 2011
4 posts
1 tag
“Oh it’s a love-fest these days.
Conservatives couldn’t stop
praising Obama’s...”
– Bill Maher on Obama’s Tucson memorial speech
2 tags
1 tag
3 tags
1 tag
December 2010
2 posts
2 tags
NOT HELPING. JUST AWKWARD.
So this is an addendum to my post on “holiday cheer” and more specifically, how I loathe it:
People have been holding the door for me. I usually appreciate it but some are just taking it to another level and by another, I mean STUPID. Like today at Starbucks, this chick was holding the door for me when I was, I kid you not, 15 FT AWAY FROM THE DOOR WITH A SCALDING BEVERAGE IN MY HAND....
November 2010
6 posts
2 tags
Stop. Fucking. Singing.
So I’ve noticed that some people are already showing signs of a mysterious but very contagious virus; something I’ve come to refer to as “holiday cheer.” No one knows how or exactly when it starts (from my experience, it usually starts festering as early as a few days before Thanksgiving and lasts as late as New Years) but in any case, I’m here to report: IT IS UPON...
2 tags
Bam. This, Exactly.
tamburina:
Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?
Epicurus
2 tags
matamatics:
Timbaland ft. Drake - Say...
3 tags
“I’m so glad I live in New York City and not in the United States.”
– R.L. Stine Because although “sometimes life seems hard here — the crowds, the expense, the 24-hour-living-and-working lifestyle…there are days, like yesterday, when we’re ever so glad we live in New York City. Like when much of the rest of the nation goes a reddish color of...
2 tags
3 tags
October 2010
18 posts
3 tags
In Honor of Halloween: 20 Ways to Survive a Horror...
A quick run-down should you ever find yourself trapped in a horror movie and would prefer to live to tell the tale.
1. Don’t have sex.
Seriously
Abstinence is key.
2. Don’t go out with people you’ve just met that day.
I don’t care how good he says his weed is,
He is cuckoo bananas
And he wants you dead.
3. Don’t go to camp. Especially one where someone was murdered.
There are six words...
2 tags
“The fact that so many pro-lifer Republicans neglect is life doesn’t end at...”
– Pro-Life or just Pro-Fetus? It’s because all these people care about is what’s in their stupid fairy tale book. It says “Thou shalt not kill”. Nowhere does it says “Thou shalt not leave people to rot and die.” So all is fine. It’s “God’s will”, that all these people are suffering, baby.
3 tags
2 tags
“‘How are you.’ The words came out like blood in her mouth and she...”
– Anonymous
1 tag
4 tags
“Obama ran as a visionary and leads as a legislator. That’s the most...”
– Jon Stewart
5 tags
In Honor of Spirit Day
“The person who tries to kill him/herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make...
1 tag
3 tags
If Paladino Wins, I'm Moving to New Jersey.
I’m sure most of you know about Crazy Carl and his trash talking by now. If you don’t, Carl Paladino is a candidate for governor of New York and last week, during a speech in Williamsburg he talked about the importance of not “pandering to the pornographers and perverts” and making sure children aren’t being “brainwashed into thinking homosexuality is an equally...
1 tag
1 tag
“We all wear masks, and the time comes
when we cannot remove them without...”
– André Berthiaume
1 tag
Royksopp - Vision One
My previous music post was...
2 tags
matamatics:
Röyksopp vs. Lupe Fiasco - I Got...
2 tags
Columbus Day is BS
In honor of Columbus Day, I would just like to say:
That motherfucker was lost as fuck. Like the kind of lost where you can’t tell your head from your asshole. For chrissakes, he was looking for India which is…oh I don’t know, THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. Moreover, guy was such a masterful explorer, HE DIDN’T EVEN REALIZE HE WAS LOST. Hence, OH HEY LOOK, those...
3 tags
RESTRAINING ORDER
SO. The guy from the GET AWAY FROM ME entry interrupted my studying yet again with a “Heyyy, coincidence huh?”
Um. What?
WHY WOULD THIS BE A COINCIDENCE? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I COME HERE TO STUDY EVERYDAY, THE ENTIRE DAY?!
Definitely a coincidence if by coincidence you mean STALKING.
Step away before I blow my rape whistle. JESUS.
1 tag
2 tags
Get Away From Me.
So today in Barnes and Noble, a dorky barista plops down next to me while I’m in the middle of taking a TIMED practice test and strikes up a conversation.
REALLY. ARE YOU SERIOUS?
I can maybe understand getting interrupted if I were just reading some bullshit magazine to pass the time but I have thickass GRE books open and a fortress of flashcards. YOU CANNOT NOT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING.
5...
2 tags
“If you stop telling lies about me,
I’ll stop telling the truth about you.”
– Gordon Gekko